“You are bold, you are brilliant and you are beautiful.”

These are the powerful words that body activist, Ashley Graham, spoke in a TED Talk which changed the way I look at myself in the mirror.

From when I was in high school until about a year ago, I was afraid of shopping and trying on clothes. I found ways to stay home. I would sit in the car instead of going into the store. I would groan and throw a fit before I even made it inside.  I found excuses to reject family members’ comments, such as  “this would look nice on you … it’s so pretty.”  I was worried that the clothing would not look nice, nor fit the body I have.

Every time I looked at myself in the mirror, fear overwhelmed me because the results didn’t meet my expectations. Maybe the material or the outfit was meant for someone else?

All this insecurity  first began to change when I saw music video, “Toothbrush,” by pop group DNCE  — it featured a model, Ashley Graham.

I was amazed at how the video used a curvy girl like me and how she embraced her body.

Later, I found her 2015 TED Talk video entitled, “Plus-size? More Like My Size.” The video, which can be found here – http://bit.ly/2zC4FCf – aims at empowering women who have negative body image issues. In it, Graham shares how she learned to love herself.

Now, other than my usual affirmations in the morning, I look at myself in the mirror and say, “hello, stomach and sides. I am going to love you a little better today.”

I am slowly overcoming my fear of shopping and the negative results of trying on clothes.

Recently, I went shopping by choice, freely tried on clothes that I wanted to wear and felt comfortable in the skin I am in. I even walked around the store with a flannel around my waist, a thin tank top and my leggings as I searched for new clothes to wear.  

It is still possible to feel a lack of confidence. I do have days where that’s the case, but I remind myself to take it easy and remain patient. On days the jeans don’t fit and it feels like I failed inside my brain, I have to remind myself with the following: “breathe, be patient and don’t let those thoughts get to you.”

You cannot rush everything and expect the results to happen instantly. Learning to love your mind and your body is hard, but when you do, you feel a sense of joy and accomplishment.

Thanks Ashley.