Sexologist, Jill McDevitt, had advice for her listeners: There is no “normal” sex life to be conformed to, so why are we “showing up with biases and how do we challenge them?”

McDevitt, who holds a doctorate in human sexuality, spoke to a dozen students gathered for the Sept. 17 Student Health and Counseling Services “Ask the SEXpert” event in the USU ballroom. She said her goal in sex education is to promote kindness. 

 “When we challenge our personal biases and judgments about sex, this leads to greater compassion for the sexual diversity that exists; and the thing that makes sexuality so beautiful is that it’s different for everybody,” said McDevitt.

To create a safe and open atmosphere during the event, she used an interactive online Kahoot game, which allowed the audience to anonymously answer personal questions about their sexual orientation, experiences and preferences.

McDevitt, who has been a sexologist for 12 years, said she created the questions based on what people have asked her when looking for guidance or when inquiring about her profession.

The group, which was comprised of 11 females and one male, offered answers ranging from having zero sexual partners to 11 and identified as straight, bi and queer. 

This sexual diversity allowed for different views to be discussed, showing how different sexual preferences can be.

The discussion that followed broke into four major categories: sexual orientation, experience, kinks and sexual health. 

The results showed that even in a small group, sexual conduct that either seems unusual or extremely common is seen that way because of how it is portrayed in society, said McDevitt.

For example, when asked if anyone had ever had sex with more than one person at a time, three people said yes and nine people said no. McDevitt said the common assumption would be that the percentage would be higher due to how threesomes and orgies are a common theme in movies and porn.

Seven out of the 12 attendees said they have either experienced sexual violence or harassment. McDevitt said most groups report rates of violence or harassment of 50 percent or more and that she has had groups in which 100 percent report sexual violence. 

She said that the lack of public awareness causes people to assume lower rates of sexual violence.

McDevitt, who gives lectures at universities across the country, is based in San Diego and does individual counseling by telephone, according to her website.

The event also featured a table with free snacks and contraceptives as well as stickers on sale for a dollar each. Organizers held a raffle for stickers with McDevitt’s favorite phrase: “Don’t yuck someone’s yum” — meaning it is ok for a person to not like a sexual act, but it is not ok to put them down for it.

For more information, McDevitts Instagram is @sexdocjill and her website is www.thesexologist.org/coaching. Student Health and Counseling Services are available for confidential appointments to talk about sexual health.