I’ve known this girl for years, and we are the best of friends. I’ve been her rock, her emotional support and have helped her throughout the years dealing with her problems. We laugh and have the best time together, and recently I’ve developed feelings for her. We’ve kind of gone into an undefined relationship that included intimacy. She recently told me that she wants me as her “best friend” and not as a boyfriend. She is now in a relationship, and I’ve tried to walk away from our friendship, but she cried and told me that she couldn’t live without me and that she needs me in her life. She always tells me that she loves me. I’m confused. Please help.

I hate to tell you, but you are being used by your friend. Unfortunately, she is emotionally connected with you. Being her “best friend” keeps you right where she wants you to be and that is meeting her needs but staying away from getting close to you. She is playing with your heart and your feelings by telling you “I love you as a friend.” It is nothing but a childish game that she is playing to keep you right where she wants you to be. If she is mature, she would make a choice and commit. This is a sad situation for you but I suggest keep moving forward and live life for yourself. Don’t get yourself stuck in between because that is exactly where she wants you to be. You need to realize that is an either/or situation. Because your feelings are involved, you need to sit her down and tell her that you are willing to be a boyfriend, lover, husband or forever person but opt out on being her “best friend.” There is nothing you can do, but don’t call and give in when she needs her “best friend.” She can find a girl “friend” for that. If she commits to you then it was meant to be, but until then there is no need for you to be confused and sad about the situation. There are thousands of people out there who are willing to commit and without the emotional draining of this current relationship. There is someone out there that won’t play around and who will give you the love that you deserve.

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