Why you should be single on Valentine’s Day


Gayana Parsegova, Why you should be single on Valentine’s Day

You’re single and ready to mingle: need I say more? I mean really, the world is just your oyster,  and the possibilities are endless! You can only imagine how adventurous your Valentine’s Day is going to be!

First of all, you’ll have the opportunity to save a lot of money. Ladies, I’m sure your boyfriend has been hinting at the fact that he has been dying to get a certain game for his PS4, and gentleman, we all know that your special lady friends are obsessed with makeup! Let’s face it, cosmetics aren’t cheap! Now being single, you don’t have to worry about getting anyone anything. You can sit back, relax, and spend your money on yourself with your close girlfriends on a night out!

How many times has your significant other looked at you and said, “Babe, you take way too long to get ready to go out. I mean, we’re just going to Chik-Fil-A.” At this point in the conversation you glare back at him and say, “Chik-Fil-A or not, it’s important that my countour always looks good.” When you’re single, you can take your time without having anyone wait on you and being annoyed with the fact that you messed up the wing of your liquid eyeliner, you’re having an emotional breakdown and now you need to start over, or you can go out looking like a potato train-wreck! The choice is yours!

Finally, you don’t have to go out on yet another disaster of a date with your slightly socially awkward significant other who you have been wondering why on earth you’ve still been with him the past nine months.  “God, this sucks. Why haven’t I dumped him yet,” you’re thinking to yourself as you watch him slurp down his rice and broccoli across the table. At this point you’re just horrified and disgusted because who knew anyone could even slurp down solid foods like that in the first place! “Hey Ian,” you muster up the courage to say as you examine the broccoli stuck between his teeth, “I think we should, uh, break up. It’s been cool though. I’m down to be friends.” Yikes. Who doesn’t like getting dumped on Valentine’s Day with vegetables in your mouth?

Happy Valentine’s Day to all the cool cats out there! On behalf of The Cougar Chronicle, we hope that your future relationship isn’t expensive, rushed, and contains excessive amounts of broccoli stuck between all the wrong places!