One hundred and five miles, two hours and thirty-three  minutes away from not only my hometown but the destination of my main supporters and motivation, my family. How could  I move away from the source of my happiness? How can I make it in college without them?

I moved away from home to become someone my family can be proud of, but with this comes sacrifices. A person has to adjust to a new environment, learn to be independent and the hardest part of all, find a place where they can belong.

During my first week here at CSUSM, I felt so out of place and  was excited to grow as a person. However, I felt more like an extra puzzle piece that doesn’t fit into the puzzle.

I remember on my first day, I called my parents about 20 times before my first class. I didn’t talk much to my roommates, so the only  communication I had was over the cell phone and a few quiet words  between me and my roommates.

When I wasn’t on the phone with my parents or doing my homework, I was miserable. All  I wanted was to go home. Being in my room felt lonely and sitting in my dorm living room felt even worse. There were no more hanging photos and uncomfortable throw pillows.

I think I liked to blame it on missing my family, but it was because I was terrified of making a life for myself here. I was so scared of failing. I think a lot of CSUSM students feel like this, scared of being away from home and not having a safety net to fall back on.

I felt a lot of first week jitters and fears. Once I overcame them, everything felt easier. I still felt a little out of place, but I started talking to my roommates more. I started to socialize and little-by-little everything started to feel like it was meant to be.

I walked around campus and tried to take in all the good that came with attending CSUSM. I started to focus on all the beautiful things that were here.

I am being taught by amazing professors who want me to succeed. I wake up to a view where students walk on the CSUSM bridge to go to class, walking towards their future.

Emotionally, I’m feeling a lot  better about CSUSM and obviously still have a long way to go. When it comes to the actual school part, I think I was pretty much a mess. I was not used to the workload at all and it felt pretty stressful.

But, that is what college is all about. I felt stressed but I loved the feeling of knowing that I am learning things that will help shape my future.

I didn’t like the idea that more work equals less time talking to my family. It feels so strange having something to do where I don’t even have time to make a phone call. But at the same time, it feels good to be independent.

My first week at CSUSM was rather interesting and emotional and I’m pretty sure it was like this for a lot of first-year college students. However, it gets better, and it is always good to remember that we are working for our futures and to make our families proud.

For  other students who feel the same way I do, always remember that it will all be worth it and our families will always be there  to support us through it all, you are not alone. Everyone is going through the same thing as you are.

Be proud of yourself. Stay motivated. Evolve.