Hey, Coug—My girlfriend and I are both busy college students at separate San Diego County schools. Lately I feel like our relationship is being placed on the back burner because we are so swamped with classes and homework. I feel that our education should be a priority, but I feel so disconnected from her these days. Help?
School stress can be the ultimate test for a strong relationship. Remember that you both have to make an effort in order to “make it work” through the tough times. Let her know how you are feeling, but approach the situation gently. If you want some time with her, why not try surprising her with flowers after her class and then take her out for a quick coffee? Discuss ways in which you both will make time for each other, but be understanding if you have to make some compromises. If you are feeling insecure about the future of your relationship, examine whether or not it contains a strong foundation of mutual friendship, trust, and support. Keep her interested with romantic gestures, questions that show your interest in her academic life, and by letting her know that you care about her future career. College is a busy time, but you can help each other get through.
Dear Coug, do you have any ideas for some inexpensive, fun dates? I’m on a budget, here!
You bet! Control your debit card swipes by brainstorming together some activities you both enjoy. A fun alternative to “dinner and a movie” is to cook a meal together (you can even go to the grocery store together to shop for ingredients— divide the list and race to the checkout) and rent a movie you both like. March is often the month for prime kiteflying winds; pack a picnic lunch and have a day in a local park. If you like outdoor activities, try hiking, horseback riding, surfing, or gardening together. Websites like groupon.com or livingsocial. com offer online coupons to local restaurants and many other destinations— ice-skating, rock climbing, or ceramic-painting places. You can also volunteer together; community service is a great way to bond as a couple and appreciate each other’s strengths. Above all, try to find enjoyment in anything you do.