Cougar Chronicle Staff

CSUSM psychology professor Colleen Moss was devastated four years ago by the sudden death of her husband, CSUSM biology professor Tom Wahlund, but she found release by channeling her grief into a series of paintings that are on exhibit this month at the Escondido Municipal Gallery.

“Wounded Hearts: A Journey Through Grief” is a series of annotated paintings that chronicle Moss’ journey through the grieving process and her recovery. “Wounded Hearts” not only depicts the deep pain and despair that often follows the death of a loved one, but also shows the resiliency of the human spirit and the return of hope.

Wahlund, 60, passed away on Sept. 11, 2008, just five-and-a-half weeks after his diagnosis with stomach cancer. Wahlund and Moss, who is a psychologist, artist and interior designer, were married for 37 years. In a video created for the exhibit, Moss described the experience of working through her grief with art.

“For many months after my husband died, I felt the pain and despair I felt would never lift, and in many ways I was pretty sure I wouldn’t survive. In fact, in many ways I didn’t want to survive. My husband was my entire life. He was everything to me and it was my greatest fear that he would leave before me,” she says in the video.

Isolated  in her grief, Moss wanted to find a way to express her emotions. In the past she had painted landscapes but didn’t have the strength or interest to return to her easel until eight months after Wahlund’s death. Her first painting was that of a “wounded heart” — a deep red human heart criss-crossed by spidery white veins. Over the next three years, she painted 11 more wounded heart paintings, many of them misshapen and torn and sewn back together with needles and white string. One painting depicts a young heart in a nest. Another has a string of hearts on a clothesline. Over time, the paintings grew less sorrowful, a sign that Moss said showed that her own heart was healing.

Moss says she’s no longer painting hearts, but her grief still informs the landscapes that she paints today. She said painting helps her express emotions she doesn’t even realize she’s experiencing inside.

“I find that sometimes the paintbrush knows what the mind does not,” she said.

Moss will talk about her art therapy in a free lecture at 6:30 p.m. Tuesday, Nov. 13, at the Escondido Public Library, 239 S. Kalmia St.

“Wounded Hearts” runs through Nov. 30 at 262 E. Grand Ave. Call (760) 480-4101.