By Jordan Taylor Waechter

Contributor

Oppression can be thought of as unjust treatment or control, mainly based on race, ethnicity, gender, religion, sexuality, class and dis/ability. Oh no! The crowd gasps, not another woman rambling on, but hear me out.

Each “status” is a lens used psychologically and socially in the way we view the world and treat others within it. Regardless of those differences (that should be recognized), here is a lesson I’ve come to learn.

You are already real. To be real is not simply referring to being alive, but is also referring to the experiences that happen to you while being alive. Do not wait for someone else, something else or an outside source to declare you as real. Crazy, I know. To accept you are real means to understand you will not be some magazine model (in most cases), that you will disappoint people and yourself, that the size of your waist does not indicate the capacity of your mind or heart and it means accepting you will live through moments that cannot be edited, deleted or erased. Just get on with it; you are incredible as an individual, embrace what makes you unique and different.

Plus, Barbie is overrated anyways; there is only one you. Accept that you are real, that your life cannot be finished, have perfect timing, be fixed or have any form of structure. Become intrigued by the messiness and actually embrace it. You are your own gatekeeper, do not let others define your value.

Yes, it is even more difficult that we have grown up in a world where, as a society, we have been raised to be likeable, and watched as the women (and men) who spoke up for themselves in ways against social norms were either called selfish, difficult or needy that splashed a red wine stain on the white carpet. Whatever, be the stain and know that the change starts within you. Create your own value, regardless of the world and judgments. Find an anchor in the chaos of the stereotypes, biases and social norms, and choose to not be a part of it.

You are real exactly as you are and who you are. Remember that we change as life requires us to. If you want to cut your hair, wear that dress, baggy shirt, not shave your legs, be a scientist, run for president, ask for that raise, change your mind on your life partner, city, whatever, that is okay. It is okay to change our mind on big things as we grow as individuals. Turns out, life does not work out the way you thought it would at 18—and that’s actually a good thing.

Empower yourself, and do not let the world decide on what you can and cannot do. Free yourself from the box and the hegemonic views. Plenty of people will tell you that you cannot do something because you are not good enough, a woman, not intelligent enough, just not outdoorsy enough, blah blah. All that matters is that you know you are enough. That is all you could ever need.