By Shakara Thompson

Contributor

“Don’t be a woman that needs a man, be the woman a man needs.” – Anonymous

In my 20 years of life, I have only been in two serious relationships, including the one I am in right now, and I must say that never have I needed a man.

Growing up, I was raised by a single mother who did everything on her own without any man’s help, AKA my father. Seeing how my mother strived for her accomplishments all on her own – buying her own house and car, having a good career, paying bills, maintaining her health and balancing her work life and personal life – I saw what being independent really was. Though my mother passed away when I was 18 years old, she was able to teach me all she could, which included never needing a man and becoming successful.

Mainly what she taught me, and my experiences in life have shaped my ideology of, was being an independent woman in today’s society, which brings me to the question that many people ask. Can a woman be independent while also being in a relationship? My answer is yes, she can and I am one of them.

I think being a woman who is independent could be seen as somewhat ambivalent since there are men who find it to be intimidating towards their masculinity. In today’s society, the old-fashioned view of relationships still exists where men are supposed to be the sole-providers, and women are not. As my partner would add, “that’s the man’s role, to provide,” but I think it is just as great when both, men and women, share the responsibility of providing for each other.

As you can imagine because my partner and I have different perspectives on this topic, it causes a lot of friction between us since I choose to do certain things on my own without him; although, in his eyes it is about constantly being there for his woman when need be, I see it as I am just as capable of doing it by myself. We manage to keep our contrasting beliefs separate from our feelings about one another because at the end of the day, we love each other for many other reasons.

In conclusion, I believe being a woman who is independent should not in any way disinterest anyone or make them feel a certain type of way, but rather intrigue them to understand why the meaning of independence for women is so important.