Based on a best-selling book by Paula Hawkins, The Girl on the Train follows Rachel Watson (Emily Blunt), an alcoholic divorcée who stalks her ex-husband and his neighbors. In the end, it’s a mess.

When one of the neighbors, Megan, goes missing, the police immediately suspect Rachel, who must find out what happened and clear her name.

The Girl on the Train sounds like a psychological thriller I can get on board with. The premise is like a creepy, suspenseful walk in the wrong part of the woods ‒ one that often makes for a cultural phenomenon. Add a solid cast, led by the wonderful Emily Blunt, and you should have a winning formula.

Well, sometimes what looks like a winner doesn’t live up to the hype. I hoped for greatness and got crap instead.

You’d probably think The Girl on the Train is the next Gone Girl, a terrific movie with captivating performances that sends chills down your spine and leaves you begging for more. The Girl on the Train certainly apes Gone Girl in style (often too much) but forgets to add what makes the best thrillers work ‒ thrills.

I wasn’t surprised that the movie was slow. A slow pace can add to the sense of foreboding dread that thrillers are supposed to give. But The Girl on the Train is a paceless mess that will probably leave most people bored. It feels like a four-hour movie when it can barely clock two. I waited for something interesting to happen, but the plot just plodded along without coming together into an engaging story.

The film  never fails to waste an opportunity. Details that might have been better left as twists for later, were given away too early; of course the missing neighbor is a promiscuous cheater! Instead of giving the characters any development, it makes them boring, stock characters who wouldn’t have felt out of place in a Harlequin romance novel. Despite the good initial premise, even the ending was a complete waste.

The choice of director was a mistake on the studio’s part. Tate Taylor has made good films (The Help, Get on Up) and has a knack for directing actors, but his style was in no way suited for a thriller. I don’t completely blame him ‒ he shouldn’t have been put into this position in the first place. But if DreamWorks had gotten someone more familiar with the genre, I think the film would’ve turned out better.

So, The Girl on the Train is one of the biggest disappointments of a so-so year in film. Although some of the performances, especially by Blunt herself, make it easier to stomach, I cannot recommend such a dull, plodding mess of a movie.

Stick to Gone Girl, people.

Score: D+