AMY SALISBURY
PRIDE STAFF WRITER

I am not ashamed to say that I love TLC’s “Toddlers & Tiaras” even though People Magazine and CNN say I should be.

Here in California, child beauty pageants are few and far between. But in the southern U.S., pageants take over hotel conference rooms nearly every weekend showcasing children as young as three months.

Many publications recently printed less than comprehensive coverage of the hit show after a 3-year-old dressed as Julia Roberts’s character in the movie “Pretty Woman.” You’d be correct in recalling that Roberts’s character is a prostitute.

Similar costuming includes a 4-year-old dressed as Dolly Parton (complete with disproportionate chest enhancement) and a 2-year-old dressed as Madonna.

I will concede to the argument that beauty pageants for children are not age appropriate in any sense. Considering that the infant categories in many beauty pageants require nothing more than a $2,000 dress and a doting parent to parade the often drooling, crying or sleeping baby across a stage, there is little support for the case that the parent is doing the pageant because the child wants to.

This is the cardinal problem with children in beauty pageants: crazy, scary moms want to be on stage, so they live vicariously through their daughters (and sometimes sons).

Actually, apart from the whole age appropriateness ordeal (and the obscene amounts of money people spend), that’s pretty much the only real issue with beauty pageants.

When a kid lacks his or her own agency to decide to go onstage, then you’ve got a problem. However, MaKenzie Myers of Montgomery, LA has more gumption than most politicians do when it’s time comes to grace the pageant stage (YouTube her and you’ll see what I mean). With catch phrases that include “I’m not doing what you tell me,” “Well, where’s my drink?” and “Put me down so I can go get back in line,” I’m surprised TLC hasn’t tried to capitalize on some line of MaKenzie dolls spouting any number of her hilarious lines.

I guess, if you really wanted to, you could say this ball of energy is just a bratty little girl with a lenient mother. And, I guess, you could say this promotes bad behavior, poor self image development, etcetera, etcetera.

However, the portrayal of these children is meant to shock viewers and leave them, mouths agape, waiting for the next week’s installment. I feel I should also mention that TLC has hired the best TV editing team that ever existed; they truly make the show far more entertaining than it should be.

Shame on CNN for trying to make me feel bad. Sure, I wouldn’t recommend the many CSUSM students with young children to watch “Toddlers & Tiaras” to brush up on their parenting skills. However, just entertainment.

CNN: pick on somebody your own size.